Blogapathy

Recently I’ve been inspired to think of myself less.  Self-referencing can be such a time-consuming pursuit.  Take for example, some typical thoughts that cycle in my head on a given morning:

What should I get for breakfast.

I miss listening to NPR. 

I feel so awkward.

I really like hanging out with them.  They always make me laugh.

Ugh.  I can’t believe she did that.  I can’t get over it!

My stomach feels weird.

After someone had challenged me to keep a mental tally of how often I thought about myself in a day, I concluded that the only way I could escape this was to be unconscious!  Looking back on my xanga days, I now see that I wrote so much because I wanted so much to be known.  I wanted people to know and love my family.  I wanted to people to know weird things about me that only a good friend would know.  I wanted people to know about my angst and think that I had substance.  

Not that I don’t want to known anymore.

It’s just that I realized that I am known.  I’ve always been known.

Blogapathy.