Blogapathy

Recently I’ve been inspired to think of myself less.  Self-referencing can be such a time-consuming pursuit.  Take for example, some typical thoughts that cycle in my head on a given morning:

What should I get for breakfast.

I miss listening to NPR. 

I feel so awkward.

I really like hanging out with them.  They always make me laugh.

Ugh.  I can’t believe she did that.  I can’t get over it!

My stomach feels weird.

After someone had challenged me to keep a mental tally of how often I thought about myself in a day, I concluded that the only way I could escape this was to be unconscious!  Looking back on my xanga days, I now see that I wrote so much because I wanted so much to be known.  I wanted people to know and love my family.  I wanted to people to know weird things about me that only a good friend would know.  I wanted people to know about my angst and think that I had substance.  

Not that I don’t want to known anymore.

It’s just that I realized that I am known.  I’ve always been known.

Blogapathy.

Oh my Goodness.

I thought I would be devastated the day I would have to say bye to my car, but it has been so good!   This weekend, I made my first big big big purchase.  I bought a 2009 Honda Fit.   Everything about this experience has everything to do with God.

1. My old car breaking down in the midst of a bad economy = Desperate Dealerships = Good deals & financing rates!
2. Tim’s flexible work schedule that allowed him to pick me/drive me to work for a couple days.
3. Roommates that so generous in offering their time and cars so that I would not be lame.
4. My school is walking distance to a train station that is a direct line to Downtown Mountain View.
5. Shannon and my family came to visit last weekend and lifted my spirits.
6. I had plenty of time to do some last minute research/number crunching because of finals last week.
7. Going to the Honda Dealership with Hsin.  His expertise singlehandedly resulted in a very happy Candy, and a not so happy general sales manager who had to let car go without making a killing.  I was in and out in 2.5 hours.
8. My parents helping me with the downpayment of the car!
9. Stable job to make payments.
10. Unfreakingbeliveably awesome new car smell that makes me want to take deep breaths everytime I drive.

I was praying on Saturday that God would help me  love Him better through this car (sounds strange I know).   So if you need a ride anywhere or need to move things,  seriously let me know.   I would be so happy to be able to help!

The time has come…

to say goodbye to Charlie.  My once trustworthy companion has decided to call it quits.  Maybe he misses San Diego.  Maybe norcal was too cold.  Maybe he’s teaching me a lesson by his death that I need to go back to a Japanese car.  The only consolation tonight came when the mechanic said “I wouldn’t take a Ford if someone gave it to me for free.”  I mustered a genuine giggle in the midst of the pain of loss.

I will always remember what Pastor Matt says about getting over someone.  “The best way to get over Sally is not to think of reasons you shouldn’t like Sally… but like Sarah instead!”

Car salesmen, hit me with your best shot.  I am ready to rebound.

Welcomed Changes?

I’ve experienced marked changes in my life since the big move 3 months ago.  You’d think 100 days wouldn’t do much to change someone.  I beg to differ. 

1.  I am turning pale.  My sandal tan only exists in my memory.  I’m seriously considering fake baking so that people can distinguish my wedding dress from my skin.

2.  I’m reading more.  I am currently reading The Working Poor.

3.  I bring resuseable bags to grocery shop. 

4.  I frequent Whole Foods at least once a month.

5.  I cook all the time (or at least it seems like it).

I am scared of what’s next.  Birkenstocks?  Quinoa?  North Face Fleece? AHHH!!!

Jumping on the Bandwagon!

And in other news, my handsome guy just launched his website!  Make sure you bump up the audio while you look through the website because we spent HOURS looking for that song.  It would make me feel so much better that people out there (other than me & Tim) are enjoying the musical stylings of Ray Lamontagne while looking at beautiful pictures.

Do Resuscitate

I admit I have been a selfish blogger.  Ever since I started reading blogs on google reader, I have enjoyed reading so many random blogs I forget that I should bring something to the potluck – even if it’s just soda (no offense to the soda bringers out there).

Speaking of which, did you know that my fiance Tim drinks more coke per day than anyone in the world?

Call me a cop out…

Tim sent me this today, and I couldn’t agree more.

“Lastly, for those preachers who have gotten sidetracked for the cause of a false king and a false kingdom by making too much of the election and too little of Jesus, today is a good day to practice repentance in preparation to preach it on Sunday. Just give it some time. The thirst will remain that only Jesus can quench. So, we’ve still got work to do….until we see King Jesus and voting is done once and for all.”  –Mark Driscoll

Janine reminded me today how awesome it is that we get to vote.  So so true.  Hurray for democracy!

Moving Lessons Vol. 1 of many to follow

It’s only been 16 days but I feel like I’ve been away from home for a long time.  I’ve already missed a dear friend’s wedding and Asha looks startlingly different to me.  It would be a lie if I didn’t say that I didn’t have a complete meltdown already.  In fact, I think I have counted 3 (four if you count today’s literal meltdown when my classroom warmed up to a saunific 95 degrees).  It usually comes when I experience something unpleasant and foreign eg. being alone on a Saturday night at 9 pm.  My mind furiously draws a Venn Diagram – filling the 2 circles with excruciating detail leaving the middle section completely bare.  I have found that a good cry and a generous nap to follow is just the right remedy

All I can say is thank goodness for Tim.  I love that he can talk about my family, my San Marcos coworkers, my friends, and San Diego with me.  I appreciate that he doesn’t try to sell me on the bay area thing but listens, consoles, and eats with me.  I have never been so aware of how self-reliant I was living in San Diego.  Tim reminds me of how good it is to be needy with God.  I hate feeling clueless, lonely, and lost… but it’s almost totally worth it to experience how completely capable, loving, and lavish God is with me.

All over again

When I left San Marcos High School, I wondered if I could love another group the same.  (I wonder if parents feel like that when they are prego with their #2).  I’ll find out tomorrow :]

When Michael Scott hits too close to home

Watching this team win relay after race after race made me so happy.  So happy in fact that I would burst into song. Cue reggae music.  Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme, get on up it’s bobsled time!

Move over Mr. Scott, I am the new mayor of Inappropriate City.